Aversion

So I have an aversion to dealing with things sometimes.  I just want to read or watch my soaps and not think about all the stuff going on right now.  So things are busy at work and of course stressful as always.  But I sort of feed on that so I can't complain about that too much. 

More than that things aren't going well with Mamaw.  It will be 1 year October that she was diagnosed.  She is having a bad spell right now and it's hard to handle.  Since she has been doing so well it is easy to trick yourself into believing that she isn't sick and that everything will be ok.  Then she has a bad spell and it's like a reality check. Actually it's like she was just diagnosed all over again.  It sucks the air out of you and then you realize she's dying. So yea that feeling is what I am trying to avoid.  Each time she has a bad spell if she does gain any ground back she always loses more and never gets back to where she was.  We will know more this Friday after she goes to the doctor but either way it seems like things are starting to go down hill faster. 

My time will now be spent in Statesville as much as possible.  I am asking that all my friends understand this.  We do not know how much time we will have with her going forward so I am going to spend as much time as I can with her.  So if I break plans or I can't do something there really is a good reason why.  I hope you all never have to go through this.  I also ask that you pray for her and my family through this.  Thanks to all of my friends that have already been there.  I am glad to have you now and I am going to need you all more than ever soon.  Good night all!