So if you have been reading our blog for a while you know that I have often focused on weight loss as a part of this blog. Before getting pregnant I had worked really hard and I had lost a lot of weight. I started trying to lose my weight from when I was pregnant with Nisee as well as a little more that I had gained over the years. When I started I had 94 pounds to get to my goal. I did a great job and lost 66 pounds and was on track to reach my goal with only 28 pounds to go and then I got pregnant. I had great plans to exercise throughout this pregnancy and to gain at most 35 pounds which was the top end of what the doctors recommend. I even posted a blog entry about my goals for this pregnancy but as we all know this pregnancy did not go as planned so why would my weight gain be any different. To say I gained a lot more than planned is to put it mildly. I know that I gained a little more from the high protein diet that I was on for the IUGR and the recommendation for bed rest when possible but I think I gained the most from the emotional toll that this pregnancy had on me. I did a great job keeping it together but I know I ate a lot out of stress. I also gained weight differently with Lacee than I did with Nisee. Most of my weight with Nisee was all in my belly but with Lacee I gained all over. I gained 50 pounds during my pregnancy with Nisee when I came home from the hospital I only had 15 pounds to go to get to my pre-pregnancy weight but then I sat at home and ate just like I did when I was pregnant and I gained 15 more pounds, giving me 30 to lose. I also waited until my 6 week check up for clearance to do anything that could be considered exercise.
So this time while I wasn't able to keep up with the goals I set for myself for my pregnancy weight gain I was determined that I was not going repeat what I did when I was on maternity leave with Nisee. I decided that I would allow myself 2 weeks to get adjusted to the feedings and what all was going on but then I was going to work on modifying what I was eating and depending on how I felt possibly add in a little cardio in the form of slow walking probably via Wii Fit. So each day since Oct. 20th I have gotten up and eaten a healthy breakfast and a fairly healthy lunch. I also usually eat a little snack mid morning and I am feeling good about myself. Then comes the evening and all Hades breaks loose! I find myself eating what could be an ok dinner health wise but then I want to snack snack snack! It's like from 4pm until I go to bed all I want to do is eat! I am not sure whats going on but it is really making me mad at myself. I am not sure if my body is still reeling from the c-section and is not reacting well to cutting calories. I have 55 pounds to get to where I was when I got pregnant and I have 83 pounds to get to my goal. So I am not at 94 like before but I still have a long way to go and I need to be focused.
Chad says I am being too hard on myself and I need to remember that I just had a baby via a major surgery and that I need to give my body time to heal and that as long as I am trying then that is what matters. He says he knows I can get there in time. I appreciate him and his faith in me but I am mostly worried because from where I had lost so much weight before getting pregnant I had gotten rid of all of my bigger clothes and unless I lose 20 or so pounds by the time I go back to work then I am not going to have anything but pregnancy clothes to wear and I don't want that! But he does have a point. I am going to have to just keep trying I guess. Trying is better than not trying at all but that doesn't mean I am not still irritated with myself and my lack of discipline! If anyone has any tips or hints please feel free to share them with me.
Oh and on a side note my incision has come back open so I have to be extra careful if I decide to do any exercise. I am thinking slow walking would be ok but I don't want to make anything worse.
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