Most everyone knows that my Mamaw Evalene was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in October 2009. The doctors said months so the fact that she had been here almost 14 months was great but we knew things were getting worse but I never imagined that it would happen the way it did. I was just down there on Sunday November 21st and we talked and she was playing with Nisee. By playing I mean, Nisee would bring her a piece to this Cat and Dog Tic Tac Toe game she has in her hospital bed and she would smile at her and say "Cat" or "Dog" and take it from Nisee and sit it up on her tray table. We left there feeling like this would be a Thanksgiving different than past Thanksgivings but still not much different because we would all be together.
Boy were we wrong! Wednesday I went to work things going as normal and then I got a text message from my Mom saying that the doctors had confirmed that my Papaw Lester had been diagnosed with Acute Meyloid Leukemia and that Chemo was not an option. She didn't know much more than that. So the first thing that I did was google it and every site that I read stated that Chemo was the only treatment. Put it all together and well it wasn't looking good. Then I got text number 2 which said they were just hoping to keep him home through the holidays. I took that as they were going to let him stay home during the holidays so that he could be with us. I tried to concentrate at work but I could not so finally I left a little early at 2pm. I went and got Nisee and we went to the grocery store. As I was coming home from the grocery store my Dad called. He said that news about Papaw was not good. Papaw when they said home for the holidays they meant ALIVE through the holidays. Then my mom called and her news wasn't any better. She said Mamaw had taken a turn for the worse and that she had to start the morphine. I asked if I needed to come down there and she said yes but leave the baby at home not sure how long this night is going to be. I lost it for about 15 minutes while I threw some things in a bag and then I took off for Statesville. That was the longest 50 minute drive ever and I cried the entire way.
When I got there I found Mamaw could still look at me and hold my hand and barely speak but that was all. I now know she was in the process of dying. I kept it together while in the room with her and then I ran outside and dry heaved because I hadn't eaten anything all day because I was so upset. I stayed up with her until I finally passed out. Let me make note that she was talking Wednesday morning and still swallowing pills. It happened really fast and of course all of this while we were trying to process what had just happened to Papaw Lester.
Thanksgiving started with our family being together for a McDonald's Breakfast. It was great to see them all that morning. I then spent the day at my Mamaw's side with my Mom. I never left the house. The longest time I spent away was 30 minutes to take a shower. Chad came down and brought Nisee to see Mamaw and she recognized both her and Chad but couldn't speak and Nisee continued her own game of bringing Mamaw the cat or the dog. They stayed for a little while but left to go to Chad's Mom's for Thanksgiving lunch. I stayed with Mama of course. Angie and Jessie came by and spent all afternoon with us. Daddy left that afternoon to go to eat with Nanny and Papaw for Thanksgiving. Dusty and Heather did too as did Chad and Nisee. That evening everyone came back but Nisee. She stayed with Mary that night. My sister Tara came down and Mamaw recognized her that night but that was the last time she recognized anyone for the most part.
Friday was about the same. We spent it at the house with her, comforting her and each other. We were all afraid to sleep and I don't think that Mama and I did sleep more than a few hours. Chad left Friday afternoon to go get Nisee and keep her at home that night and he was going to bring her back Saturday morning. I pray you never have to go through this but if you do please read the book that hospice gives you. It explains "the process" of dying and what you can expect. It really helped me to understand that what was happening was for lack of a better term normal. Once again everyone was back that night including Tara.
Early Saturday morning my Mamaw Evalene went to heaven. She left this world with all her family around her, knowing that she was loved beyond belief and would be missed terribly. Chad arrived shortly after with Nisee and I had never been so happy to see them in my life. My Mamaw was so special to me and we had a relationship that not a lot of people get to have with their grandparents. I am glad she is not suffering anymore but I am selfish because I want her here with me to see Nisee grow up and to meet her other great grand kids.
I started this post in December of 2010 and I has taken me a year to be able to finish it. I completed this on December 15, 2011.
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