9/11 - 10 years later

So today is the 10th anniversary of the terror attacks on 9/11/2001 and I still  I remember exactly where I was when I heard about it.  Brittany and I were at Mitchell Community College in the Student Center upstairs in between classes.  They have couches and small study rooms that are in the open but they also have a few rooms that had tv's in them that  you could rest in too.  We were sitting on the couches when we heard a person come out and get on their cellphone to call someone and say that a plane had flown into the World Trade Center.  We got up and went into the room to watch the news on tv and we saw the second plane fly into the second tower.  My mom called me and Britt's mom called her.  We had to go to classes still but we didn't have class.  The teachers turned on the TV and we watched as the towers fell and we heard about the other plane hitting the pentagon and the plane that crashed in PA.  I met back up with Britt after class and her Mom said they were evacuating downtown Charlotte because it had the tallest buildings between Washington DC and Atlanta.  I remember that I went to my Mamaw Evalene's next to eat lunch (I did this all the time because it was close to her house) and we continued to watch the news and talk about what happened.  I remember them closing down I-40 near the fuel reserve tanks because they are a huge threat. I remember being scared, shocked, and saddened by everything that was happening.  My heart just ached for those who lost loved ones that day.

It has been 10 years and I still get emotional when I see images or hear stories from that day.   Today at church we sang America the Beautiful and Pastor Lynn talked about how hard it was to write a sermon for today however she delivered a pretty good sermon for someone who had trouble writing one.  Her sermon focused on Matthew 18: 21-35 and talked about forgiveness and about how Jesus tells us to forgive.  We prayed and I continue to pray for those who lost loved ones that they may find some peace!  I think I will close my blog post about this with America the Beautiful as it is a pretty fitting tribute.

America the Beautiful

1. O beautiful for spacious skies,
for amber waves of grain;
for purple mountain majesties
above the fruited plain!
America! America! God shed his grace on thee,
and crown thy good with brotherhood
from sea to shining sea.

2. O beautiful for heroes proved
in liberating strife,
who more than self their country loved,
and mercy more than life!
America! America! May God thy gold refine,
till all success be nobleness,
and every gain divine.

3. O beautiful for patriot dream
that sees beyond the years
thine alabaster cities gleam,
undimmed by human tears!
America! America! God mend thine every flaw,
confirm thy soul in self-control,
thy liberty in law.

Great finds for Lacee's Room

We needed to go to Winston to get a few things and randomly we decided to go into HomeGoods and we found some great things on clearance for Lacee's Room!

Purple Cupcake pillow for her chair

Purple and Pink CupCake coat hangers!

The only thing not on sale was the cupcake night light but I had to have it! :)

 This was obviously something that we did not buy!  However Nisee has a sign that hangs on her door that we got her at a craft store that says Princess and since Lacee is our Little Cupcake I decided I wanted to make her a sign that says cupcake.  I got everything to make it at Wal-mart.   I thought my paint colors I had at home were more subdued but they ended up being neon almost.  It will work for now but but I might get some pastel paints and do another one.  The picture is a little dark so you can't see how neon the green is.  I hot glued the ribbon around the edges and that is my favorite part!

 

We also got her fan put up and blinds for one of her windows up and as soon as we get this stuff put up as well I will post a few more pictures of her room! 

Letting it out and Updates

So I have been doing a pretty good job of dealing with all the things that are going on with this pregnancy.  I had my moments in June when things were at their worst and since then things have continued to go well so it has been easier to cope and place focus on Lacee's successful growth than to drift back to the what if's.  However now that her arrival is getting closer and closer those what if's are starting to creep back up and after this mornings ultrasound I lost it. 

The ultrasound was fine.  Her BPP and doppler's were good. Dr. Grandis and I talked about if I should schedule a 37 week ultrasound for growth and he said that we could go ahead and schedule one but that really the growth scan at 35 weeks would determine if they decided to deliver at 37 weeks or not.  He again alluded to the fact that he feels Lacee's growth restriction is a result of what her chromosomes say. This could mean her DNA just says she is a small baby or it could mean that she has a chromosomal abnormality.  He was clear that there is still no definite answer and that both options are still on the table and that was comforting, sort of. 

So I scheduled my 9/29/2011 37 week scan but as I walked to my car the more I started to think about "what if there is a problem?" and I lost it.  I cried for a good hour or more on my drive to Durham. I have spent most of my energy trying to focus on the positive and not dwell in the negative or focus on what we don't know but there are just times when it all comes crashing down on you and this morning was one of those times.  I talked to my mama and then Chad, of course, and they were great at helping me calm down and help me refocus.  Chad is so laid back and just knows exactly how to deal with me when I get like this and that's one of the reasons I love him so much!  I am also a little jealous sometimes and I wish I could be more laid back about things like him but it's just not in my nature.  Mama really understands what's going on and the significance of it so she knows how to really empathize with me and help me understand that it's ok to be upset and to worry and mostly to be scared to death!  Because that is what I am ... SCARED TO DEATH!  Don't get me wrong I am thankful that Lacee has made it all this way and she will be a blessing no matter what but I can't deny that I am not scared about what might be. 

After all this crying I had to go to work and I am glad that I had to be in Durham today because it gave me the chance to get calmed down during the drive before having to deal with work.  I had a great meeting today where I got some great feedback about how I do my job and that helped me end my day on a better note.  I worked hard to earn the feedback I got so that makes it all the more important.  On my ride home from Durham I was again back to focusing on the positive and praying for the best outcomes.  I also again resigned myself that there are always "what if's" and if we live our life worrying about them then we will never actually live.  I think I needed this mornings crying session to get out all the frustration I was feeling about so many unknowns with Lacee and we all need to get things out before we explode!  I actually feel much better! 

I also had a doctors visit at my OB's office on Tuesday and they actually will be seeing me every week starting well this week.  My next visit with them is Friday the 16th, they wanted to see me the day after my next growth scan.  I think they maybe wanting to schedule my c-section soon but they will take the advice of the doctors at maternal fetal so if after that scan they want to allow me to get to 37 weeks for another growth check then I am not sure what they will do. A lot hangs on this next growth scan!  I got a few pictures today but I haven't scanned them yet.

My Baked Spaghetti

I am no great chef by any means but there are some things that Chad says I am good at making. I don't make it all by scratch but I do add my own flair to things.  I wish I had the time to make things from scratch but you can use some pre-made ingredients and by adding things to it you can make it almost your own. My baked spaghetti is just a way that we have found that we really like it and I thought I would share.  It's a really easy recipe if you want to call it that.

Ingredients:
1/2 box Angel Hair Pasta
1 lb. Hamburger
1 Jar Traditional meat free spaghetti sauce
garlic powder
onion powder
chili powder
oregano
italian seasoning
pepper
salt
parmesean cheese
mozzarella cheese, shredded

Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Boil 1/2 a box of angel hair pasta (Add 2 tablespoons butter in the water to keep noodles apart)

Fry 1 pound of hamburger no more than 90/10 lean and while frying add about 1 tsp of onion powder, salt and pepper to taste (we like a lot of pepper so I tend to add a lot of pepper).

In a sauce pan mix the traditional sauce (fill jar about 1/4 way with water and place lid back on and shake up, add that too the sauce in the pan... the excess water bakes out when you put it in the oven).  Add about 1 tsp garlic powder, 1 tsp onion powder, 1/2 tsp chili powder, pinch of oregano, pinch Italian season, salt and pepper to taste (again we had quite a bit of pepper).  I really don't measure them exactly I just add them to taste but these are about the amounts I use.  Heat using a cover to simmer for about 10 minutes.

Drain the hamburger and add it to the sauce mix and keep simmering covered for another 10 minutes.  Drain the noodles really well and add them back to the pot they were boiled in.  Then pour in the sauce mixture. Use a spoon and mix the noodles and sauce together well.  Pour into a glass dish and place in the oven for 15 minutes.  While spaghetti is in the oven then in a small bowl mix together one package of mozzarella cheese and a 1/3 cup of parmesan cheese. Remove the spaghetti from the oven and sprinkle the cheese mixture over the top of the spaghetti and put it back in the oven until the cheese is melted.  Allow to sit for at least 10 minutes before serving. 

And that is my baked spaghetti!  It makes my husband happy and I think its yummy so it works for my little family!  If you try it I hope you enjoy it as much as we do!

Tie Dye Cupcakes ... yes I know its late!

I said I would post pictures of how I made the tie-dyed cupcakes when I posted about Lacee's shower but I got busy doing a lot of other things.  Nisee has been napping today so I am here to post.  I got the idea from a mini cookbook that I got in line at the grocery store.  And I also found a post about a lady who tried it which made me want to try it even more. See that post here.

Cupcake Cookbook!  Lots of great ideas but you can also find them at bettycrocker.com for the most part!

To start with you use a basic white cake mix and mix it as the instruction say.  Then separate it into how every many colors you want to use.  I used 5 this time. I did my best to measure them exactly the same but I still had some that had a little more than other colors.  Then you tint it the colors you want. 

Tinting the batter

My batter colors

Then you spoon it one teaspoon at a time into the cups until your run out of batter.  Make sure you don't use too much as you spoon because you don't want to run out of a color before you get to all of your cupcakes!  It is hard to measure exactly one teaspoon so I just did my best to a similar amount unto each cupcake paper.  A lesson I did learn is that I will use smaller spoon fulls next time so that I can have more different colors throughout the cupcakes.

Added the blue and green ... still have 3 colors to go

Then you just bake the cupcakes like the instructions say.  I would also say use light color cupcake liners so you can really see the colors through the paper!  Now the recipe says to tie dye the icing too but I think that can take away from the cupcakes and that should really be the focal point.  So I decided to stick with white butter cream.  Now I normally make my traditional wedding cake butter cream icing that I have made since I was probably 6 or 7.  You know old enough to know my measurements and to run a mixer!   But I ran across another recipe for American butter cream that I wanted to try so that is what I used and it was really good!  See that recipe here.  Last I topped the cupcakes with some rainbow sprinkles for just a little extra.  I got a lot of complements on them.  Not as many as the pink champagne cupcakes but they were a big hit and the kids really liked them!

They look pretty when they are done

a little pink got in there but as you can see I got a little too much yellow in this one...

the final product

They were yummy as well as very pretty!

Lacee's Room Day 2 Progress

Well we got almost everything done today as far as painting is concerned!   We got the 2nd coat of paint on the walls and we got 2 coats of paint on 3 of the walls baseboards.  We also got 2 coats of paint on the window trim and 1/2 of the door trim.  We got 4 of the 6 receptacles and the light switch changed from off white to white.  We would have done all of them but I didn't listen to my husband when he said there are more than 4.  Sometimes it does pay to listen to your husband, especially when he is an electrician! LOL  We got all the furniture moved and in place. We even got some of the wall hangings up! 

We still have to paint all the trim in the alcove area and we would have finished this today but we ran out of tape and we had to go get Nisee from Chad's Moms.  We also have to finish painting the door trim.  We would have done all this if we could have but because the closet is behind the door to the room, we had to paint part of it and then let it dry completely and then do the next part plus there is the the whole we were out of tape thing.  We also still need to hang her name letters.  They will go above her crib.  And of course replace those last 2 receptacles. We need to hang the shades, blinds, and curtain rods.  I haven't found the curtains I want just yet.  So while we finished almost all the painting, we still have a lot to do to get her room ready.  None of this includes washing EVERYTHING and putting back up.  We also still have to clean out the closet that is in that room.  It is full of random stuff that we didn't have a good place to put and we couldn't put it in the basement or in the out building.  We have been putting this off because well we don't really know where to put some of the stuff. 

While we still have a lot to do I am so happy with all the progress that we have made!  We will work again some tomorrow but we are going to enjoy at least one pretty lazy day of our long weekend.  Plus all this work these past 2 days has me really tired and sore so I am going to need a day to recover before going back to work.  We are going to have lunch with my friend Kara!  I am excited to see her because it has been a while!  After that it will probably be back home to prepare for the rest of the work week!  Don't worry though, I will make sure to take pictures and post them as we get the final touches of her room completed! I also want to take some pictures of Nisee's Big Girl Room!  We still have to hang shelves in her room!

Alcove that still needs paint around trim

Trim all bright white

window trim painted

Happy with the color

Now the furniture is moved ... Changing table and wall hangings

Trying to hide the alcove a little with the bassinet

Armiore and Recliner

Another shot of the Changing table and wall hangings

Close up of cupcake bedding and name

Crib

Lacee's Room Day 1 Progress

So the plan this weekend is to get Lacee's room painted!  Thanks to VOC free paint that is safe for pregnancy and that also has a really low smell and of course we had great ventilation, I was able to help Chad in painting the room.  Mostly I worked on the middle of the walls but any help I was able to provide he really appreciated!  See Chad hates painting! I don't mind the actual painting part I just hate the set up and clean up but this room was a dingy white color and Lacee needed a new colorful room!  Her bedding is mostly pink and green with purple accents so we decided to play up the purple.  Plus I have this thing for purple right now.  We went with a pale purple.  Here are some shots from today's work!

wall 1 down

Chad working on Wall 2 ... See the ugly white and yes the fan is going away too!

same wall where chad was with some trim work done

Opposite corner

Chad finished trimming around the edges

Little alcove also painted

Well folks that is Day 1 and tomorrow we are going to be doing coat #2 and then we have to paint the moldings and baseboards white!  I am excited to see her room all finished! I will update with Day 2 photos tomorrow!

My Next Tattoo

I have been wanting a new tattoo for a long time now!  I got my first tattoo in 2005 in November.  It was actually the night of my bachelorette party and it was a gift from my husbands Best Man Chris Blaylock who is an AWESOME tattoo artist! He and Chad have been best friends since Chads family moved down  here in the early 1980's.  It is of 3 fairies who are doing the hear no evil see no evil say no evil but they are all cheating in some way.  For example the one is peaking.  It took 3 hours just to do the outline and I thought I was dying the entire time!  It stretches all the way across my lower back.  When anyone asks "does a tattoo hurt?" the answer is always "Hell YES!!!"  I have never gotten it colored in. Each fairy should have been a different color.  I like it the way it is but I also would like to see it all finished and one day I am going to finish it if I ever stop coming up with new ones that I want!

My First Tattoo ... just needs color and fleshing out

My tattoo inspiration... and I want my colors to be red, green, and purple not blue.

My second tattoo I got in 2007 when we went to visit Chris at his new shop Electric Karma Tattoo in Murphy, NC.  Now anyone who knows me knows that one of my favorite things is Harry Potter.  So I had been thinking for about a year that I wanted a Harry Potter tattoo but I needed it to mean something more than just Harry Potter.  As most of you know my married initials are HP and my maiden initials are also HP. Yea no monogram changes for me after the wedding LOL!  So I decided to get my initials using a cool Harry Potter font.  So I searched around for an image and I found one with the H and P and the golden snitch swirling around it and that is what we went with.  I was going to have it outlined in red (for obvious reasons to any HP fan) but Chris felt that green would look better and well he was right the green looked awesome and since green is one of my favorite colors I was cool with it!  It is about as big as my hand and is located at the base of my neck in the center of my back.

My 2nd Tattoo

Close up of My 2nd Tattoo

In 2009 I had my first child, Nisee and ever since I have been wanting a tattoo with her name in it. And now that I am pregnant with my next child, Lacee I am even more determined to get a tattoo with their names in it. Before I go any further I want to share my philosophy on tattoos.  You should put tattoos in places that can be covered if you need to cover them and in places that you can show them off if you want too. I also do not think stomach tattoos are really a good idea either for obvious reasons.  So that being said my tattoos will be located mostly on my back.  I would consider a leg tattoo on my thigh or on the tops of my shoulders because those can be covered easily as well.  I would also consider a tattoo on my foot but I have heard those are really painful and IDK if I want to do that too my feet! LOL  For Chad I would be fine with him getting tattoos on his chest area as well because he can cover them with a shirt if he needs too.  He already has them on his back, upper arm, and covering one calf.  He also kinda feels the same way as me about this.  Once again this is just mine and his opinions and to each their own.  Chris has awesome tattoos all over his body and they are great BUT he is a tattoo artist and he isn't trying to make it in corporate America!

Back to my next tattoo!  At first I just wanted their names on my back and Chris said that you don't want just a bunch of random things so that got me thinking.  Randomly yesterday I figured out what I want and how I can tie in my love of Harry Potter, my HP tattoo, and their names.  In the first HP book The Sorcerers Stone, there is a quote about how Harry's mom loved him so much she sacrificed herself to save his life and that her love was so immense that it will give him protection in his very skin.  It is a really good quote and I just started thinking about it yesterday and I was like that is how I feel about my girls.  My love for them is beyond  measure and I will do whatever it takes to try to protect them so my new tattoo will be a shorter version of that quote and then underneath it I am going to get Nisee and Lacee's names and dates of birth.  I will leave room just in case we ever  have another child so that I can add their name and DOB as well.   I want the tattoo to flow across my back from one side of my HP tattoo to the other.  It's hard to explain but hopefully I will be able to get it done one day soon and then you can just see it! I also want it in a cool font that I found!  Here is the font I want and the quote. 

My 3rd Tattoo wording and font!  I listed Lacee's DOB as the 13th b/c if they deliver at 39 weeks that is the day! :)

However the only person who will ever tattoo me is Chris and with a toddler and a newborn it's going to be hard to get to Murphy! Murphy is 5 hours from here and that is a pretty long trip to take the kids on and then there is the issue with money. Good Tattoos aren't cheap but maybe we can swing a mountain vacation next summer!  It would be a lot of fun to go visit and My mom and Dad are talking about getting a motor home so maybe we could talk them into letting us borrow their motor home if they actually get one and if they have it by then!   So when I say I probably won't ever get it I am exaggerating I just mean that it won't be anytime really soon! 

Choices

I have had some thoughts and feelings about this for a long time but I haven't posted because well it is a senstive subject.  First let me say the birth of your child is your choice.   But my number one thing is that no matter what you choose you need to consider the safety of your baby first and foremost.  Due to Lacee's IUGR I have been frequenting the boards on Baby Center and other sites more often this pregnancy.  I actually saw one woman who was so scared of a c-section that she said she would rather risk the life of her child than have one. I think I would not be alone when I categorize her as Crazy with a capital C!  I have seen women who are choosing home birth options as well as using midwives instead of doctors and personally I don't agree with that for my own reasons.  I know there is research out there that supports the safety of these choices but I can't help but go to the extremes and I am just not willing to take the risk. 

I am for having an intimate experience with my OB's office and avoiding huge hospitals.  That is why I choose Thomasville OBGYN when I found out I was pregnant with Nisee.  The first visit I went to I met all the doctors and they were all nice and walking into Dr. Bryson's office above his desk is a large painting of Jesus walking with children.  That spoke a lot to me about the types of doctors I would be seeing.  Through out my pregnancy with Nisee they all knew my name and when I came in for my weekly visits they were knowledgeable about me and my baby.  Needless to say they didn't have to review my chart constantly about what was going on.  They were always there for me and never rushed me with any questions I had.  Thomasville Medical Center is just awesome!  I can not say enough about them!  I delivered Nisee there and Nisee has had 2 ear surgeries there and each time they were just awesome.

I had a C-section with Nisee because she was in distress.  Her heart rate dropped almost 30 points with each contraction I had and I wasn't even into heavy labor.  They put me on fluids which helped some but didn't stop it and I had been in labor for 13 hours and never dilated.  If I was at home there would have been no way for me to know that her heart rate was dropping with every contraction and that she was in distress.  Not only that but when they delivered the pediatrician who was in the room walked around to me and Chad and looked at us and said that if we had any doubts about proceeding with a c-section that we shouldn't have any now because she had meconium all over her face.  Now meconium in the womb is safe but outside its toxic and Dr. Williams was certain that had I delivered vaginally she would have ingested and spent time in the hospital because of it.  To me that was my sign that I made the right decisions for me and my baby!  No comment on how that would have turned out had I been at home.  Nisee was cleaned in the nursery with Chad while I was being sewn back together and when I got to my room there she was!  It wasn't terrible and I didn't feel cheated out of anything because I wasn't there while they got all the blood and yuck off her.  Actually it was a good bonding experience for her and Chad because he got to do all the stuff with washing her and learning about things with the nurse! 

When I got pregnant this time I went back to Thomasville with plans to deliver just like I did with Nisee but well that didn't turn out like planned. This pregnancy has been scary as hell and I am blessed to have her in my belly at 33 weeks today!  There was a time we were were just praying to get to 24 weeks so she would have some chance.  Now I see both Baptist Doctors and Thomasville Doctors.  I go to Baptist Maternal Fetal and they know me and are nice to me and remember me but nothing like Thomasville (well except Dr. Grandis).  I walk in and all the doctors know me, esp. Dr. Dorton! He tells me every time he sees me I read your report the other day... Shes still growing!  Keep it up!  Really how many doctors do this?! He doesn't have to look at my report until I am scheduled to meet with him but he takes time to do it anyways.  When I was 23 weeks and I met with Dr. Krisch he and I were talking about what was coming up and he took me by the hands and said "Know that we are praying for you!"  I mean really how many doctors do this?!  Dr. Ellis and Dr. Bryson have also said things and they are always very reassuring.  I am blessed to have this practice to go to and I wouldn't have it any other way.  I randomly decided to go to this practice and now I feel like God was pointing me this way.  If Lacee makes it to 38-39 weeks then I will deliver with them at Thomasville.  If we ever move I will probably still drive back here to Thomasville because I just love them.

However I will do what is in the best interest of Lacee (and any other children I might have) and to me that is to deliver in a hospital.  To me there are just too many risks to choose a home birth or a birthing center or not have a doctor.  Maybe it is just my experiences that give me such strong feelings about this. Maybe it is the experiences of my family.  Either way this is my choice.  I may think that your choice is crazy but I am not going to tell you that because you choose to deliver at home or use a midwife that you are nuts. So with that being said because I choose to deliver in a hospital and use doctors, do not act like I am uninformed and in some way less than you  You have your reasons and I have mine which I think I have laid out pretty well.  So to each their own.  I feel the same way about elective c-sections and inductions and let me tell you some women get really heated when you start talking about these things!  Ok that is enough of my soap box tonight.  I just couldn't keep it all in anymore!

1 Month Complete

Just wanted to update that Chad and I have both completed 1 month of our Bible reading plans!