Choices

I have had some thoughts and feelings about this for a long time but I haven't posted because well it is a senstive subject.  First let me say the birth of your child is your choice.   But my number one thing is that no matter what you choose you need to consider the safety of your baby first and foremost.  Due to Lacee's IUGR I have been frequenting the boards on Baby Center and other sites more often this pregnancy.  I actually saw one woman who was so scared of a c-section that she said she would rather risk the life of her child than have one. I think I would not be alone when I categorize her as Crazy with a capital C!  I have seen women who are choosing home birth options as well as using midwives instead of doctors and personally I don't agree with that for my own reasons.  I know there is research out there that supports the safety of these choices but I can't help but go to the extremes and I am just not willing to take the risk. 

I am for having an intimate experience with my OB's office and avoiding huge hospitals.  That is why I choose Thomasville OBGYN when I found out I was pregnant with Nisee.  The first visit I went to I met all the doctors and they were all nice and walking into Dr. Bryson's office above his desk is a large painting of Jesus walking with children.  That spoke a lot to me about the types of doctors I would be seeing.  Through out my pregnancy with Nisee they all knew my name and when I came in for my weekly visits they were knowledgeable about me and my baby.  Needless to say they didn't have to review my chart constantly about what was going on.  They were always there for me and never rushed me with any questions I had.  Thomasville Medical Center is just awesome!  I can not say enough about them!  I delivered Nisee there and Nisee has had 2 ear surgeries there and each time they were just awesome.

I had a C-section with Nisee because she was in distress.  Her heart rate dropped almost 30 points with each contraction I had and I wasn't even into heavy labor.  They put me on fluids which helped some but didn't stop it and I had been in labor for 13 hours and never dilated.  If I was at home there would have been no way for me to know that her heart rate was dropping with every contraction and that she was in distress.  Not only that but when they delivered the pediatrician who was in the room walked around to me and Chad and looked at us and said that if we had any doubts about proceeding with a c-section that we shouldn't have any now because she had meconium all over her face.  Now meconium in the womb is safe but outside its toxic and Dr. Williams was certain that had I delivered vaginally she would have ingested and spent time in the hospital because of it.  To me that was my sign that I made the right decisions for me and my baby!  No comment on how that would have turned out had I been at home.  Nisee was cleaned in the nursery with Chad while I was being sewn back together and when I got to my room there she was!  It wasn't terrible and I didn't feel cheated out of anything because I wasn't there while they got all the blood and yuck off her.  Actually it was a good bonding experience for her and Chad because he got to do all the stuff with washing her and learning about things with the nurse! 

When I got pregnant this time I went back to Thomasville with plans to deliver just like I did with Nisee but well that didn't turn out like planned. This pregnancy has been scary as hell and I am blessed to have her in my belly at 33 weeks today!  There was a time we were were just praying to get to 24 weeks so she would have some chance.  Now I see both Baptist Doctors and Thomasville Doctors.  I go to Baptist Maternal Fetal and they know me and are nice to me and remember me but nothing like Thomasville (well except Dr. Grandis).  I walk in and all the doctors know me, esp. Dr. Dorton! He tells me every time he sees me I read your report the other day... Shes still growing!  Keep it up!  Really how many doctors do this?! He doesn't have to look at my report until I am scheduled to meet with him but he takes time to do it anyways.  When I was 23 weeks and I met with Dr. Krisch he and I were talking about what was coming up and he took me by the hands and said "Know that we are praying for you!"  I mean really how many doctors do this?!  Dr. Ellis and Dr. Bryson have also said things and they are always very reassuring.  I am blessed to have this practice to go to and I wouldn't have it any other way.  I randomly decided to go to this practice and now I feel like God was pointing me this way.  If Lacee makes it to 38-39 weeks then I will deliver with them at Thomasville.  If we ever move I will probably still drive back here to Thomasville because I just love them.

However I will do what is in the best interest of Lacee (and any other children I might have) and to me that is to deliver in a hospital.  To me there are just too many risks to choose a home birth or a birthing center or not have a doctor.  Maybe it is just my experiences that give me such strong feelings about this. Maybe it is the experiences of my family.  Either way this is my choice.  I may think that your choice is crazy but I am not going to tell you that because you choose to deliver at home or use a midwife that you are nuts. So with that being said because I choose to deliver in a hospital and use doctors, do not act like I am uninformed and in some way less than you  You have your reasons and I have mine which I think I have laid out pretty well.  So to each their own.  I feel the same way about elective c-sections and inductions and let me tell you some women get really heated when you start talking about these things!  Ok that is enough of my soap box tonight.  I just couldn't keep it all in anymore!